Monday, October 31, 2005

The Curse of Dan Shaunessy

The fellowship of the miserable survives this Halloween with Count Shaunessy the leader of the blood suckers, who did his best to help run young Theo Epstein out of town so he can continue to ply his trade as the Dark Prince of Negativity, and extend his cottage industry with his new book, Death to Red Sox Nation. It was a master stroke of his to denigrate Theo's achievements, compared to those of the Godfather, "Lucky" Larry Lucchino, and to tick him off just enough to distrust the Red Sox hierarchy and force his hand on principle. Now you have a clear playing field to stoke your negative fires, and maybe conjure up a new curse when Manny is traded, Damon leaves for more money, and Ortiz gets pissed off without another top slugger in front of him in the line up. Yes, you vampire, you'll have a lot of candidates to suck the life out of, as well as the Nation itself, brought to its knees, by an inferior General Manager. You'll smile with glee, and do cartwheels on the floor, when the Red Sox are 10 games out at the end of April 2006. You are the zenith of negativity, and only in your glory when the Red Sox are losers.
You have a real problem, and it probably stems from your youth, or are you as greedy a bastard as the all the Red Sox owners? The glass is always half empty for you when it comes to the Sox. Even when they won, you had a hard time embracing it, since all you know how to do is to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. My suggestion to you is get the hell out of Boston, and move to Tampa Bay. You'd feel right at home down there, and your negative views would do them some good, as you are a Master at explaining excuses when things don't go right. And maybe, just maybe you'll meet your match.

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