Thursday, February 17, 2011

F--- You, and Dinner for Schmucks

With the number 1 single, F--- You by Cee-Lo Green, it appears the age of Censorship is almost over, but is it a good thing? Like everything else, the greater use of profanity in everyday life will desensitize its effect. Soon "fuck you" will seem as innocuous as "hello", or may replace hello as in "Fuck you, Jim. What a beautiful day!" The last "literary" writing taboo will be gone. As censorship disappears, so will boundaries. We will no doubt see more book and movie titles that are a lot more colorful than Dinner for Schmucks.
A very weird movie that had little to say other than poking fun at thinly veiled imbeciles, it was a long waste of viewing time. There was nothing to root for in that movie, except for it to end much sooner than it did. But I was stupid enough to go out and rent it thinking, that with Paul Rudd and Steve Carell, it would be a funny movie with a satirical eye toward modern life. The movie was callous and not funny and full of cliche stereotypes. And after a while it was the kiss of death, boring.
But I can see the future and some new titles that will come out for popular consumption. "Eat Shit, Doghead!", a bestselling memoir about growing up in the slums of Newark in the sixties; or "Fuck You, Motherfucker" a novel about a basketball legend turned real estate mogul. "Bullshit Yourself" a movie about the life of a gangsta rapper who transforms his life to become a doctor, when a brain surgeon saves his life after a horrible car accident and leaves him only with the ability to speak profanity. "Kiss My Fucking Ass" a thriller about a girl on the lam running from the law and her bank-robbing boyfriend. The sky's the limit for the seven words you couldn't say on television back in the day. Soon they will be peppered throughout books and movies, as well as music. Their time has come.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Packers Win Superbowl

There is a God, because he made sure the Steelers lost. I'm not sure any team could have beaten the Packers, but the Patriots would have been a much better opponent. Rodgers vs Brady would have been awesome to watch. Brady would have been positively salivating when the Packers two prime time back end players went down. Wouldn't Brady have attacked their replacements with relish and Welker and Gonzo and Hernandez. That's a game we didn't get to see. Maybe next year. But at least we don't have to put Big Ben in the conversation of elite quarterbacks because he doesn't belong there. Rodgers does, because he is unbelievably talented. He makes Mark Sanchez look like he should have stayed in college at least another year. Enjoy this one Packers, because we know what happened to last year's Superbowl winner. Congratulations, Green Bay! Hope the Pats get to play you at the same time next year.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

The Amazing Tony Bennett

Listening to Tony Bennett's voice is like listening to Yo Yo Ma play his violin. His voice inspires awe, wonder, and excitement while we listen to his golden pipes. We must take note that his clear and beautiful baritone ushers from this eighty-four year old singing legend, which makes his concert experience even more ethereal.

The audience at the Wang Center in Boston last night was mesmerized. The concert was the perfect antidote to this snowy, frigid winter. Multiple generations flocked to the Wang to enjoy this spiritually uplifting Tony Bennett sermon. I had his Grammy-winning Duets CD, but I had never been to one of his concerts. Like the great crooners, he was even better in person. And he was a dynamo, dancing and jiving onstage with his fantastic jazz band that backed him up. He played non-stop for at least an hour and a half, and sang most of his famous standards. It was a fabulous concert and Tony received many standing ovations and encore requests. Actually, the sold out audience could have sat in their seats all night. Tony Bennett was the ultimate artist on stage, and the show was flat out brilliant.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Welcome to Little Alaska

Welcome to Little Alaska, formerly Massachusetts, where it snows all the time but we still have the twelve hour cycles of day and night. Soon I'm going to move into an Igloo because it will be bigger than my house. I now also have a full time job since I retired. It's SNOW REMOVAL, and not by plow for a business because I don't have a plow truck. I shovel out my driveway, sometimes three times a day, and I live in a condo. So I don't have a snow blower, but I do have three shovels. Well, I had three shovels but I gave one to my daughter so now I have two. I have one with a bent handle that is better for my back, and I have a long handled push shovel that pushes the snow to the side of my driveway if it's not piled too high, and it is light and easy to move. Can snow be light, fluffy, or soft and cuddly? The answer is NO, unless you're on a mountain and skiing down white powder. That's where snow belongs. Not burying my car and driveway with 15 inches of heavy wet snow while I inch along clearing the monster layer cake style. That's why it's a full time job, cause it takes all day, but I don't get a penny for clearing it. Just the joy of seeing a clear driveway for a day and a half till the next storm.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Got Snow?

And how about this SNOW. Have we had enough yet? I don't know about you but I surrender. I give up, SNOW wins. I think there have been more days of snow this winter than without it. I've become an expert shoveler, and it has become my new full time job, cause it takes all day to clear it or get over clearing it. I think there should be a new event at the Winter Olympics, Shoveling, instead of Curling. Nobody understands that sport anyway, and how much talent does it take to sweep a broom? Shoveling a wall of wet snow in under a minute without dying would be much more impressive don't you think? Has anybody seen the Sun? It's mostly all white stuff out here, snow. Are you all going nuts like me snow. It's even starting to creep in my writing snow. I can't stop it sno, there. I better stop. Write back, soon, snow, and I'll try to get my mind off this obsession with SNOW. Got any ideas, I might need HELP!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How about Packers vs Pats?

This is not the Superbowl I was dreamin' of. We all know the best Superbowl would have featured the two best quarterbacks of the 2010 season, Brady vs Rodgers. The Patriots we know didn't make it there, and I'm still dumbfounded by the loss to the J E T S, JETS, JETS, JETS that took a nose dive and crashed and burned last Sunday in the AFC Championship game in their loss to the Steelers. Was there ever a greater image than King Rex throwing down his headphones in disgust? YAY! Great, we are all happy with that result. We're not happy that the Steelers are in the Superbowl, because the Patriots beat them on their way to their incredible 14-2 season. After all the recriminations, it really came down to two things: the lack of urgency and second half adjustments by the offense to the Jets defensive scheme, and the lack of toughness by the defense. The team simply did not play like they thought they could win the game, which is the most mind-boggling thing about this unpredictable young Patriots team. They weren't ready for the nitty gritty of playoff football, where teams scratch and claw for 60 minutes, and the tougher team prevails. Patriot players are probably sitting home, saying, "Man, we should be there. We beat the Steelers." And there was no way I could get behind the Jets like good old Dan Shaunessy from the Globe admonished us that we should. I hated their coach, and I hated their arrogance, and thirdly, they were not that good. But they sure gave it their all even when they were down 24-3 at the end of the first half. How do you explain that, Rexy? Too many Patriots in your head? The Patriots have to re-establish their toughness like the great Championship teams of Bruschi, Vrabel, Harrison, Law, Milloy, and Brady. They have to play like champions when it matters the most. They got the best quarterback, they got the leaders, and they got Belichick. Next year the Patriots should be Jetting to the Superbowl.